For parents
It is common for people to feel lonely when expecting a baby or parenting an infant. One survey showed that up to 80% of parents asked felt alone some of the time.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is a personal feeling people have when:
- their need for social contact and relationships is not being met.
- they feel different from other people or like they don’t belong.
People can still feel lonely even if they are surrounded by others, including supportive family and friends.
There are lots of reasons parents may feel lonely including:
- Feeling alone or lost with the challenge of pregnancy or parenting
- Spending a lot of time alone with the baby/child
- Finding it hard/impossible to do activities they used to do
- Going to work and not spending time with their family
- Having little or no time for themselves
- Feeling unsupported
- Relationships and friendships changing since baby
- Missing their former life (e.g. social activities & work)
- Comparing themselves negatively to others
- Feeling trapped, or finding it hard to leave the house
- Feeling like a failure
- Feeling guilty for finding pregnancy or parenting hard, or for not enjoying pregnancy or parenting
- Feeling guilty if they do anything for themselves
When parents feel lonely, they might not tell anyone, find help, or make changes to help themselves:
They might feel:
- Unsure of what to say, who to tell or who could help
- Unsure of the services and support available locally, or how to find about them
- Unsure of which service is the right one or how to access them
- Worried about appearing ungrateful for the support they do have
- Upset because they feel like they are the only one finding it hard
- Like they should just ‘get on with it’ because they’ve been told ‘its normal’ to feel lonely
- Too overwhelmed or exhausted to do anything about their situation
- Like there is no point in trying to change anything because their life is hard enough
Are some people more at risk of loneliness than others?
Anyone can feel lonely when pregnant or caring for an infant. Our research group made a list of all the things that people felt contributed to their loneliness. There will be some missing.
We are currently working on a booklet for parents to support them with loneliness which should be published in April 2026.
We have developed a video and an easy-read report which are available now.
National and local organisations that can help
There are many organisations that offer support to people who are pregnant and/or new parents. Up-to-date lists are available on the Maternal Mental Health Alliance Website and the Hearts and Minds Partnership Website.
Maternal Mental Health Alliance has collated information on organisations providing support in the UK. Charities provide support on a range of issues including topics including mental illness, psychosis, neurodivergence, pregnancy and/or child loss, neonatal babies, birth trauma, disability, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, eating disorders, care leavers, tackling inequalities and disadvantage, refugee women, tailored support for ethnic and cultural minority parents (e.g Black mothers, Muslim parents), creative and cultural interventions, counselling, military families,single parents, parents of multiples. - https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/membership/current-members/?page=1 (https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/membership/current-members/?page=1)
Hearts and Minds Partnership Service Map shows local services across the country https://www.heartsandmindspartnership.org/map (https://www.heartsandmindspartnership.org/map)
Additionally, we have identified:
Childline (for people aged 19 and under) https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/ (https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/)
Dad Mattershttps://www.home-start.org.uk/dad-matters (https://www.home-start.org.uk/dad-matters)
The Dad Pad: http://www.thedadpad.co.uk (http://www.thedadpad.co.uk)
LGBT Mummies - https://lgbtmummies.com/ (https://lgbtmummies.com/)
Queer Parenting Partnership - https://parentingqueer.co.uk/ (https://parentingqueer.co.uk/)